30-year old woman wonders if she's wrong for kicking entitled 26-year-old sister's family out of her home after they lost theirs in Hurricane Helene: 'She's trying to play the guilt game'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 11, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Supporting family in times of need is something you do out of love and a sense of familial obligation to that person—but even that has its limits. Although the person being supported might be in a hard place, it's still on them not to make their host too hard done by; you can't just go around making demands and being wildly entitled about everything in someone else's home. As someone who has uniquely been in this situation and forced to stay with family in a similar situation after a flooded home, it's not an easy time for anyone. But you do the best you can with the situation…

A couple of years back, the region where I live had a freak storm that dropped multiple months' worth of rain in the span of a couple of hours, causing a flash flood in the not-normally-flood-prone area where I lived that sent 14 feet of water into the second story of the house I was renting. The stress and the feeling of loss and displacement was something I'd never want to live through again—but my family was safe, which is something I'll always be thankful for.

Luckily, at this time, we had the support of family, an aunt and uncle took us in and let us live in their home for months while we found our feet again. A generous act that I never took lightly. I'm sure it was challenging for them at times to have us living in their home, which they usually had to themselves. But at no point would I even have considered leveling criticism at them for the way they lived their lives.

Unfortunately, this woman's sister didn't take that same approach, seeking to shape the host's life unnecessarily to her needs.

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  • 01
    "[I] told her she needed to find somewhere else to stay."
    via NASA
  • 02
    AITA for telling my sister and her family that they have to stay somewhere else even tho they lost everything? My (30f) sister (26f) lost everything. They live in North Carolina in one of the small towns that were hit. I will not say which one for privacy. Luckily they were not home when it happened. Instead, they were off in Illinois for my wedding. They have been staying with me for around 3 weeks now.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 03
    Both my sister and myself have children. She has a 5f,3f, 1m. I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old who gets into everying. I have absolutely everything locked. Cabinets, door handles, appliances, outlit covers, you name it.. This is 100% needed with my toddler.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 04
    Since day 1 of my sister being here, she has been complaining about all of the locks. She thinks they are a pain and will constantly leave everything unlocked just so she doesn't have to deal with it. My toddler, and hers, have been getting into absolutely everything. It's dangerous for them, it's a mess and quite frankly, it
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 05
    I have tried talking to her about it but now, she's trying to play the guilt game because she lost everything and we said she could stay here. I get it, it It's absolutely devastating to have nothing to go home to. She hasn't even fully processed it yet, but this is still my home.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 06
    Yesterday, I reached my absolute limit with it when my toddler got into my cleaning closet. Luckily all he got ahold of was the broom. I admit, I yelled at my sister. She started yelling back about losing everything. I yelled it wasn't my fault it happened and told her she needed to find somewhere else to stay. I feel awful now. She's still here while she figures something out but we haven't said a word to each other since. AITA?.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 07
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: For kicking my sister out after she lost everything? I'm sure I'm the ah because I took her in when she had nothing to go home to..
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 08
    Aggressive_c... . 8h ago NTA. When your sister pulls the "we've lost everything", tell her that her family is all safe, so she should count her blessings. And that your childproofing of your home is to prevent FURTHER loss of harm to what IS most precious..the children.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 09
    You were kind enough to let her stay in your home, and with young children herself, I'm frankly amazed that she isn't more concerned with harm coming to them. We had every gadget for cabinets, doors, stairs, faucets, outlets, cords, etc. That is what parents are supposed to do.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 10
    Tell her that while you feel empathy for them and their situation, you will not put the safety of the children and their well being at risk. You have nothing to feel sorry or guilty for. It is your home, and she's not being very respectful or grateful for the help you offered to her family.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 11
    puntacana24 • 8h ago NTA - You provided shelter for her and her family in her time of need, and she has the audacity to complain about how you let her live. in your own house? Her losing her own home does not give her the right to criticize where you live and your decisions in your own home, especially after you are granting her shelter. If your house and your rules. aren't good enough for her, maybe she should find someplace else to stay.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 12
    Auntie-Mam69 7h ago • • NTA. I am in NC. 12 days without power, water isn't even on the horizon. I have loads of empathy here. But this is two different issues. Do you feel sorry for your sister? Yes. Will you tolerate your toddler being poisoned by cleaning products because she's too stubborn to use the child locks? No.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 13
    Waste_Worker... • 8h ago Tragic situation. That said, your sister and her family are guests in your house. and need to respect your rules. If she can't do that and the tension is too great then she needs to find somewhere more suitable to live. NTA because your rules are quite reasonable imo and she purposely chooses to ignore them.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 14
    . eowynsheiress 8h ago • NTA. Your child's safety is at risk. I am so very sorry for your sister, but the current situation is not sustainable. Offer to help her talk to her insurance(s) and start looking for other relief efforts she would qualify for. But she still needs to get out to a hotel/apartment/other family member. Best wishes for you all.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 15
    • VeryFluffy 7h ago. NTA. Frankly, I am astounded at how many times we see folks here who are relying on friends. or family for somewhere to stay, due to unfortunate circumstances, and yet can't be bothered to stick to a few sensible rules and boundaries.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 16
    . Possible_Tiger... 7h ago. NTA I sympathize her loss, but it doesn't give her the right to disrespect your home, where you have kindly let her stay.
    via Responsible_Ideal900
  • 17
    lisalef 7h ago. NTA. Yes, she lost material goods. That truly but what if your children had gotten into the bleach or ammonia in that closet. That could've had deadly consequences. Your sisters blatant disregard for the safety of her children and yours is beyond scary.
    via Responsible_Ideal900

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family drama decorum aita entitlement sibling rivalry sisters siblings entitled family family feud family sister entitled people
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